Camp 6^th Ala Vol

Near Morton’s Ford Va

Dec 14^th 1863

My Dear Father

I have not

heard from you in several days & I

am getting exceedingly anxious to

hear how you are. The last time

I heard was through Sister Matilda’s

letter. She said you had just

gotten home from Virginia &

were very sick. I hope my Dear

Father that you are better now

I often think the last I saw you

& although it was only a few weeks

ago it seems to me to be an age.

I regret sometimes that you came to

Virginia. You must have suffered

very much from exposure as you was

not accustomed to the excitements of

your journey & of camps.

You was so sick the last

2 days you spent with me that

I know you could not enjoy your visit at all.

I could not then nor can I now

help thinking of your sufferings &

it pains me so much more when I think it was

all on my account. But your visit

was indeed a pleasure to me. In this

your sickness was providential it

seems for it gave me an opportunity

of nursing you. To nurse my Father

or Mother was always a great pleasure

to me. But it seems that I really

experienced more jenuine heart felt

pleasure while you was with me

here & while I was waiting on

you & nursing you than I had

felt under any similar occasion

before. But every bitter has it sweet

& every sweet is bitter. I could not

alleviate your suffering sufficiently

to repay you for the kindness you

have rendered me since the war began.

ah what would my family have done

without you & I to say nothing of them

what would I have done the morning

after you left after the ambulance drove

off I took a lingering look at it

as it slowly moved away. I asked

myself what must my Father suffer.

He is in more pain than he seems to

be because he tries to hide it from

me thinking that it will probably

make me feel badly. As these & other

similar thoughts were running

through my mind this more unpleasant

than all presented itself, that this

trip may cause my Fathers death. Yes, I

may never see him again. The fatigues

of this visit may be more than he can

stand. Already he is blossoming for

the grave & already he is with a

faltering step tottering over the tomb

& it may be that this visit may be the

cause of his death. Then the thought that

this visit was made for my pleasure &

for my comfort. I turned away with

a sorrowful heart, I sat down around

the fire to warm but I could not be

contented long. I thought of the happy

days that are now gone forever. Thoughts

of childhood gleeful years of the

visionary dreams of youth & of the

towering castles of the future built

by the brilliant imaginations of my early

manhood. Yes, all these & ten thousand

other things blessed by memory was

presented to my mind. I literally felt

the force of those beautiful lines that

I learned at school when a little boy

How dear to my heart are the scenes of

my childhood when fond recollection

presents them to view. & c & c.

It may be a long time before I

will see you & all the dear loved

ones at home but if believe I should

live to see this war all over &

see the happy termination of this

cruel strife. Sometimes I think I

can almost see the dawning of a

bright glorious future. I sometimes

think the balmy wings of peace are

being spread & that soon we will

all return to our happy homes rejoicing

in our freedom & independence. But

when I hear the roar of the distant

cannon I look in the dim vista

of the future & see no cessation of

hostilities is yet to be seen. But

with an unfaltering trust in Him

who does all things well I will still do

my duty faithfully to my God first

and then my Country.

I thought then of the present

The dreadful contrast came rushing

like a mighty wave of the ocean &

my mind was filled with sorrow

The evils of the present war loomed up

before me & I almost exclaimed Yes, Yes,

tis true tis true. I may never see him

again I may never smooth back

the gray locks which cluster over his

care worn brow. I may never bathe

his temples again to soothe his aching

head. Oh he may never again in

that sweet & jintle tone of voice bless

me for any little act of kindness.

Oh yes tis true I may never see

my father again. I turned away

walked out of camps to hide the tears

that would unbidden flow. I am

a man. I have been accustomed to

severe trials. It takes something more

than ordinary to make me weep

but I wept. Ah there are times when

the heart of proudest are melted to tears

by their thoughts. But what made

him weep. I thought that if my Father

did not fall under the weight of the

fatigue of his visit to me I would

probably fall by some of the evil

incident of this cruel war & then again

probably we both might before long

be summoned to the Bar of Jehovah.

Ah! then who would care for my lovely

little children & my bosom friend

my devoted wife. Oh how appalling to

the mind it is to live in continued

dread of the dreadful future.

One looks to the past. He has drunk

the cup of sorrow, but it was sweetened

with pleasure. The present is all confused

& the future is dark gloomy & dreadful

uncertainty.

But such thoughts as these often

have a good influence upon my mind

& true heartfelt joy & happiness is

frequently the sequel of such

meditations I turned away from these

bitter reflections so that Being who

is the Authority of all true happiness

& asked for mercy, & was blessed.

All things that work together for

good to them that love God. I will

trust him for his goodness in the

past. I will be reconciled to his

will & all will be well with me

& mine. Night came soon I

felt easier in mind I do trust upon

your visit & hope that you will

soon be well again. Pray God

that I may see you again & that I

may be able to repay you to some

extent for the kindness you have done

me.

Thursday morning after you

left our Camps the long roll was

beaten & we were soon in line of

battle behind our fortifications. No

unusual demonstration was made

near Morton’s Ford except a little

skirmishing by the pickets but all

felt sure that a general engagement

was anticipated. Soldiers soon learn

from the countenances of the Comdg.

Generals when they are in earnest &

although as I said above nothing unusual

was a stir yet all felt sure of a fight.

And you would really have been

amused to see how eager all seemed

to be for an attack. They were sure

of success & were therefore in the

best spirits imaginable. The weather

was cool & some indication of rain.

Things remained this way till

Friday evening. When about dark

the orders came for us to lie

down & sleep as early as possible.

All knew what this meant, so they

obeyed the order. About 2 o clock

orders came again for us to move

to the right. We marched in almost

double quick time about 4 miles &

halted. The ground was frozen

& many of our troops were

literally barefooted. But not a

murmuring word was heard to

escape the lips of any son. We then

marched very rapidly about 4 miles

further. We then came in sight of

the enemy who had crossed the

river below where we were camped.

A little skirmishing was kept up

all day at night we moved 2 miles

thereby changing our front & built

breastworks & waited the arrival of the enemy.

we stood before them until Tuesday

morning when the enemy retired

without giving us battle. We had

a severe snow during the night. The

weather was extremely cold & blustery

all the while while we were behind

the breast works spoken of it rained

incessantly 2 days & nights it then

turned of cold freezing. We also

suffered for rations I was entirely

out of rations one whole day. I

made beef & bread yet Father when

I got to it I think ate at least a

pound of beef & 8 or so biscuits

I paid about 4$ for what I eat.

I went back to the rear by order of

Coln Lightfoot with a squad of

24 men to cook rations for our Regt.

We had 48 spiders and 60 small camp

boilers. We commenced at dark &

by morning we had cooked 2 beeves

& 8126 biscuits & returned to Regt. by

daylight. All raised their hats &

gave a loud cheer when the saw me

returning with my squad & rations all

cooked. We never closed our eyes to sleep

at all during the night. Some of the

cooks got very sleepy & asked me to let all

go to sleep a little while. But I told

them nary sleep till all was cooked.

We returned to Morton’s Ford after

the Yanks retreated & we are here yet

smoked out. My health has not been

good since you left but nothing

serious. I have the dysentery very

badly. All are generally well & in good

spirits. Some need clothing & shoes very

much. I must now close. Give my

love to all. Tell all to write soon

& often. Your son

T. S. Taylor

T.C. Taylor Esqr.

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