A Boothless Hunt

SOLIPHONE

MAY 21 , 1902

TRANSCRIBED BY : TINA EASLEY

tina@grnco.net

http://www.usgennet.org/usa/ar/county/greene/

 

MARMADUKE AESCULAPIANS WASTE MUCH POWDER AND GET NO GAME

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A FRIEND TO THE GENTLEMEN IN QUESTION CONTRIBUTES THIS STORY TO THE SOLIPHONE:

DR. R.C. CAVITT AND DR. H.S. LYTTON ARE " MIGHTY HUNTERS. " THEY SHOULDERED ARMS ONE DAY LAST WEEK ; AND BETOOK THEMSELVES TO THE WOODS. THE OPINION OF THE CITIZENS OF MARMADUKE , AS REMARKED ON BEHOLDING THE WARLIKE PREPARATIONS BEING MADE BY THE HUNTERS , WAS THAT A TWO HORSE TEAM WOULD HAVE TO BE CALLED INTO REQUISITION TO PROVIDE A MEANS TO BRING IN THE SQUIRRELS AND OTHER GAME THESE IMITATORS OF CELEBRATED ANCIENT MARKSMAN AND HUNTER NIMROD , WOULD SLATHER IN THE NEIGHBORING FORESTS. WHEN THEY WERE ABOUT ONE MILE OUT FROM TOWN , THEY ESPIED AN OLD TIME FOX SQUIRREL WITHIN THE SCOPE OF THEIR VISION , BUT LUCKILY FOR FOXY HE WAS NOT IN THE RANGE OF THEIR GUNS. OF COURSE, THE DAPPER LITTLE QUADRUPED SPEEDILY CARRIED HIMSELF AHEAD OF THEM , AND IMPARTED THE NEWS TO ALL THE OTHER ANIMALS OF HIS GENUS AS TO WHO WAS OUT HUNTING THAT AFTERNOON.

 

THIS SETTLED IT , EVERYTHING THAT EVER HAD THE SEMBLANCE OF GAME WENT INTO ITS DEN , AND CORKED UP THE ENTRANCE. AFTER THE GENTLEMEN HAD WALKED ABOUT SIXTEEN MILES , AND HAD BECOME LEG- WEARY , THEY SIMPLY WALKED OFF AND AWAY FROM EACH OTHER UNTIL THEY WERE COMPLETELY OUT OF SIGHT , EACH OF THE OTHER. NOW , DR, LYTTON IS A VERY SYMPATHETIC MAN , AND BEING SOMEWHAT FATIGUED BESIDES , HE TURNED HIS STEPS TOWARD MARMADUKE FEELING JUST LIKE HE COULD HARDLY TELL HOW; BUT HE WAS AFRAID SOMETHING DREADFUL HAD HAPPENED , AND THEY WOULD NOT BEG ANY GAME .

 

HE WAS STEPPING PRETTY LIVELY TOWARD HOME WHEN HE HEARD A GUN REPORT . HE SURMISED CORRECTLY IT WAS DR. CAVITT. THIS RELIEVED HIM AND HURT HIM TOO, HE WAS RELIEVED BECAUSE HE LEFT SURE HIS COMRAD IN ARMS WAS NOT DEAD ; AND HURT BECAUSE HE , ALSO , FELT SURE DOCTOR CAVITT HAD KILLED A SQUIRREL. BUT HE HIKED HIMSELF ON HOMEWARD , AND DOCTOR CAVITT REPEATED HIS SHOTS MANY TIMES. DOCTOR LYTTON ALMOST TURNED BACK ONCE OR TWICE , HE FELT IT WAS CRUEL NOT TO DO SO , AND HELP HIS COMPANION TOTE ALL THOSE SQUIRRELS. BUT WHILE DOCTOR CAVITT WAS PEELING IT TOWARDS HOME , HE WAS MILDLY REMARKING IT LOOKS AS IF TO ME THAT IF DOCTOR LYTTON WAS NOT CARRIED OFF BY A WILD BEAST HE WOULD STOP AND WAIT FOR ME , OR AT LEAST , FIRE HIS GUN TO LET ME KNOW IF HE IS STILL LIVING .

 

MEANTIME , DOCTOR LYTTON ARRIVED AT BENTON HARVEY'S AND STOPPED TO WAIT , TELLING MR. HARVEY THAT WHEN DOCTOR CAVITT CAME ON HE WOULD CARRY THE GAME ALL THE BALANCE OF THE WAY , FOR HE WAS SURE THE DOCTOR WOULD BE BROKE DOWN WITH SUCH A LOAD , EVEN IF HE ONLY KILLED ONE SQUIRREL FOR EVERY TWO SHOTS . IN A SHORT TIME DOCTOR CAVITT ARRIVED WITH NOT A SQUIRREL IN HIS POUCH . THEY CAME CLOSE TOGETHER AT MR. HARVEY'S FRONT GATE. ONE DOCTOR LOOKED AT THE OTHER DOCTOR INTENTLY , AND TWO DOCTORS INTENTLY LOOKED AT EACH OTHER. THEIR EYES SPARKLED AND DANCED THE HIGHLAND FLING , AND THEIR FACES BESPOKE GREAT VOLUME OF REMARKS ON THE BEAUTIES AND RECREATION OF HUNTING . A NICE LITTLE HUNT LIKE THEIRS HAD PROVEN TO BUT NEVER A WORD DID ANY ONE OF THEM SAY FOR A LONG TIME THEREAFTER .

 

MR. HARVEY TOOK IN THE SITUATION AND OFFERED TO CATCH OUT HIS HORSE AND LET THEM RIDE HOME BUT THEY WOULD NOT ACCEPT THIS HOSPITALITY AND WALKED RIGHT ON HOME ; AND THEY ENTERED THE TOWN ABOUT SUNDOWN YOU WOULD HAVE THOUGHT THEY WERE ONLY SIXTEEN YEAR OLD BOYS , SPRIGHTLY WERE THEY STEPPING , AND HAD JUST STARTED ON A HUNT INSTEAD OF RETURNING . EACH HAS HIS OWN WAY OF ACCOUNTING FOR THEIR ILL LUCK. DOCTOR CAVITT SAYS DOCTOR LYTTON FELT SORRY WHEN HE SAW THAT PRETTY LITTLE FOX SQUIRREL AND SAID IT WAS A SHAME TO SHOOT IT AND SLIPPED OFF FROM HIM BEFORE THEY REACHED THE BEST HUNTING GROUNDS ; AND DOCTOR LYTTON SAYS DOCTOR CAVITT RAN THAT FOX SQUIRREL ABOUT A MILE AND THEN SHOT AT IT MISSING EVERY TIME , SO MANY TIMES THAT HE SCARED ALL THE OTHER GAME CLEAR OUT OF THE WOODS. FURTHER THAN THIS THE DOCTORS ARE AS DUMB AS OYSTERS ON THE SUBJECT OF THEIR HUNT.