Names in the Directory
(From the Marion Chronicle)
When the 1912 county directory was placed on the market some one with a penchant for puns produced the following rather interesting sketch. The directory reports an increase of population in one year amounting to 2,128 names, and that there are fewer empty houses in town than when last reported.
The following clipping is of interest and information:
"There are many interesting things to be learned from an examination of the pages of the new directory. The Smiths have decidedly the best of it in the matter of common names, there being one hundred and sixty Smiths, one hundred Jones, with a goodly number of Whites, Browns, Blacks, Blues, Greens, Grays, Goldens and Vermillions. Biblical names also occur with frequency, there being several Cains, Abels, Adams, Davids, Abrahams, Sampsons, Shepherds and a few Christians.
The names of men distinguished in politics, both past and present, are to be found. Grants, Shermans, Harrisons, Wilsons, Bryans, Hayes, Kern, Marshall, Knox, Lee, McKinely and Morton appear in generous numbers, while one would almost think American was the to be turned into a monarch from the great array of Kings, Dukes, Marquis and Popes. The scenery of Marion and Grant County is not neglected, and an abundance of Parks, Fountains, Forts, Dales, Hills, Dells, Geisers, Glenns, Lanes, Marshes, Brooks, Ponds, Pools, Rivers, Bridges and Groves are noted through the pages of the book. There are Banks, Shores, while the animal kingdom is represented by Badgers, Bahrs, Beavers, Campbells, Coons, Foxes, Lyons, Monks, Seals and Wolfs, Lambs and Kidds are also included in this variety.
The hunters may find Crane, Crowe, Hawks, Jays, Martins, Pidgeons, Robbins, Swallo and Swans. While Marion is not a "dead" town, the directory shows there are Coffins and Graves in great numbers. The seasons are represented by Winter, Summer, Falls, ten Moons, Freeses, Stporms, Snows and Ices. There are Basses, Pike, Herring, Pickerell, Salmon and Trout. The directions North, South, East and West are represented, while Marion has got a Cook and a Peary. There are twenty-eight Mills, with eleven Millers, with Milliners, Carpenters, Bakers, Cooks, Farmers, Fishers, Gardners, Masons, Painters, Plumbers, Sailors, Brewers and Weavers.
Two Copps and two Crooks adorn the pages of the directory, together with several Whislers, one Deakin, three Elders, five parsons and a few Priests. One Bachelor only is to be found since leap year has passed. Among the Woods are to be encountered Maples, Ash, Burch, Cherry, Crabtree, Lime and Mulberry. The pugilists are represented by the Corbetts, Sullivans, Dempseys, Gans, Hogins, Jeffries, Johnsons, Jacksons, Kelleys, McCoys, McFarlands, Mahers and others. Marion is a "dry" town ordinarily, but the directory shows a great array of Wines, Beers, Ginns and Fizzs. From a standpoint of food there is plenty of Ham, Bacon, Coffee, Barley, Lemons, Cherries, Berrys and Mulberrys. There is a Calendar at the Farmers' Trust Company, two Clothiers, a few Coats and one Button. The canvassers found several Bloomers, Jumpers, Boots and other articles of wearing apparel.
Among the odd-sounding names are Coal, Meadow, Good, Pasters, Creeks, Moss, Bush, Rose, Budds, Waltz, Golf, Cady, Link, Beards, Dollars, Nickels, Hatchett, Nails Halls, Glass, Buckles, Barnes, Leatherman, Butler, Cobbs, Combs, Cotton, Davenport, Dolls, Feathers,Whiteheads, Whitenecks, Nose, Flaggs and Tuckers. A few of the "jawbrakers" are Heironimus, Anglicks, Arthurhultz, Bevelhymer, Bournique, Cottispion, Delchambre, Diffendorfer, Hippensteel, Kalbakofs, Schaumleffel, Stirnitzki, Sachteleben, (Dutch Bill) and Schultheis. Among the Polish colony in West Marion are to found Stapunkus, Kontoff, Norcuss and Joe Thompson.
Because of its unusual suggestiveness in the study of nomenelature, the clipping finds a place in history. There are many names in the county, however, not enumerated by the paragrapher who deals in poems -did not lend themselves to his purpose.