CHAPTER XXII

Social Life.

E. L. Bangs, in the "Book of the Golden Jubilee," has written charmingly of early social life in Flint. As he observes, social; life results from one of the deepest cravings of human nature. Even the dog or the horse is lonesome as an "outsider," and will take strong measures to get in with his kind and make himself agreeable. Even in the primitive pioneer days of "Aunt Polly" and "Uncle John" Todd there was social life at Flint, which centered about the old tavern, but social intercourse was necessarily very limited in days when homes were far apart in the forest on Indian trails and cowpaths.

Nor is the record of that early social life easy to gather. Mr. Bangs says: "Interviewing those who have been dead for many years should be one of the accomplishments of one called upon top write up the early social life of Flint, most of those who were prominent in that period and were themselves social factors are sleeping in the cemetery." Those who are still living do not remember to any great extent those particulars that would help to make an interesting sketch. All whom I have seen think social life in Flint was uncommonly pleasant, but I have found it difficult to obtain interesting particulars. In a general way they tell me some things, but just the things I would gladly see put in print are with the dead. With pencil and paper in hand one Sunday afternoon I tried to carry on the holy work of an interview for the good of the public with an old and valued friend of mine. She told me that she came to Michigan in 1833, living at first in Mt. Morris, in a house set up of blocks of wood, and she used to listen sometimes to the howling of wolves underneath it. Stalwart characters ought to be the result of such environment -- character such as could not be developed where no sterner sounds can be heard by moonlight then the voices of belligerent cats.

"Mrs. -----------, in 1836, lived on the river bank on the site of the old Red Tavern, which not many now living can remember. I asked about the social life of the children, for I do not happen to know any more pleasing sight than a lawn party of very young children, full of fun and frolic, such a party, I mean, as we often see today. And then their consumption of refreshments, when the time comes is something noteworthy. 'Was anything of that kind done for very young children in your young days, my friend?' 'Children then as well as now,' was the answer. 'They had pleasant times, but there was no formality for them. Invitations were not issued for them, and their lives were more isolated than the lives of children are now.' Social life distinctively for children was not a feature of the early days of Flint.

"'Well, what did the older people do in the winter for amusement?' "Sleighrides were quite frequent in my younger day; old and young enjoyed them together. The sleighrides usually culminated in a supper, and a return when the evening was considerably advanced.'

"'Was there any love-making on such occasions.' My friend thought a moment, gazed thoughtfully on vacancy, and said she could not distinctly remember, but she thought there might have been..

"'From a few ancient relics she produced several invitations on note paper, each suggestive to her of a pleasant occasion long past, but not one of them was dated with the day of the month or year, and how old they were she could not tell.

"She spoke of frequent dancing parties that were held in an old residence on the corner of Court and Saginaw streets, known by everybody as the Hascall Place. Mrs.------------ has a vivid memory of parties that were given by various families. The invitations were quite general, for there was then no sharply dividing line that distinguished 'our set' from the other set.

"I asked about a dress for such occasion., She satisfied me that the ladies of that period understood the art of dressing, and I presume there never has been a time when they did not known to array themselves attractively. 'Did the gentlemen appear in the conventional swallow-tail?' she could not distinctly remember to what extent the swallow tail prevailed, but said she, with emphasis, 'The gentlemen did look mighty well.'

'the caterer had not at that time appeared. The hostess of the evening at least supervised the refreshment department and the good things were chiefly home-made. Good they were, the variety was great, and the consumption was more than a make believe. On some occasions the gentlemen would quietly retire to a certain room for a quiet smoke.' "And then,' she added, 'I can't say what else they went for.'

"Those were the palmy days of E. H. Thomson, who used to entertain those he met at evening parties with recitations from Shakespeare. He was, my friend told me, a fine story teller, Were they any dinner parties? 'Yes, they were quite frequent, but there were no toasts with formal responses, until later years.'

"'How about young ladies on such occasions.' 'I can't remember what they wore, but they looked as pretty as pinks.'

"Pleasant memories in the mind of Mrs. ----------- clustered around the old Boss Tavern, a few miles from Flint. She called to mind one occasion of marked interest to her. There was a sleighride and a great supper had been ordered. A jolly spirit of rollicking good-will had taken possession of all in the sleigh. Some had to stand in the sleigh for want of room. I can't understand why they had to do this. Had I been there, I should have offered some one a seat, and at the same time should have retained my own. Perhaps that was done, but my informant made no mention of such an act of courtesy. There was singing all along the way. One strain of one song still lingered in her memory, it was this:

'Lightly row, lightly row.
On the glassy wave as go.'

"The chaperone had not at that time appeared in Flint, though on that particular occasion there were some suspicious transactions that suggested a field of usefulness for a chaperone that could see, and at the same time be conveniently nearsighted. On that particular occasion a gentleman lost one of his mitten, a just penalty for not keeping it on, and hunted in vain for it. 'Where is my mitten? What has become of my mitten?' and in response to this query there came a musical response from a young lady,

'Look high, look low,
Look on my big toe,'

And there he found it. 'And it didn't seem a bit out of character then,' said my informant, 'but I suppose such a thing now would shock conventional proprieties, but we did have good times.'

"In the summer season the picnic party was in high favor. Lemonade flowed freely and there were eatables by the bushel. On such occasions one may be allowed to unbend his dignity, or, if he is very aspiring, he may climb a sapling and lend it down and drop from its top to the ground, if he chooses to, and be applauded as an acrobat. These early picnics, I am told, were free from gossip and from the slightest approach of rudeness. There was good talking not only of the kind that entertained, but no infrequently upon subjects that required previous good thinking to talk well upon.

"A woman once said of her husband, 'The trouble with Mr.--------- is that he always supposes that other people can do what he does.' It is now so with such of our good Flint people who look back with tender pride upon the ways of their friends in early social life. They think, and doubtless honestly, that other people, notably those of a later time, cannot do what the early comers did socially. Time has gilded these half-forgotten social ways with a halo that glorifies them. Who shall blame this honest pride in old time observances? Not I.

"He who would catch good fish of all kinds should fish in all waters. He who would look up bits of information that the public has forgotten and would set before the public those bits of semi-gossips happenings that the public generally read with more enjoyment than they do reports of sermons, should interview all the elderly ladies in Flint who are willing to tell about their social life when they were young.

'Such a lady, like her predecessor, told me that she came to Flint when she was five years old. That was not far from seven years before Flint became an incorporated city. It was village life then, with all the quiet charm that one find in a pleasant community not yet mad with the haste to be rich.

"The history of Genesee county informs us that 'nine-tenths of the early settlers of this county came from New York state and New England, and brought with them the advanced ideas of the favored communities from which they came, upon the subjects of education and religious observances.'

"'The madam who I am now interviewing called to mind pleasant evenings at the old-fashioned spelling school. Sides were chosen, and as fast as one of the contestants misspelled a word, down he sat and the battle continued till only one speller, the champion of the evening, was left on the floor.

These contests were always exciting and were scenes of genuine pluck in the hour of battle, and of hilarious fun when the battle was over. Madam with whom we are now talking was at least once victor in such a contest. She spelled down her last competitor on the word 'weasel,' the wrong spelling given being 'weasel.' It is not easy to catch a weasel asleep and that night the little girl, now a woman, how many years young I will not tell was wide awake and she said her family was proud of her success.

"Is this lady correct when she insists that the log school house and the spelling school gave us better spellers than we now find in our well-equipped schools? I cannot say, but I do know that in my own spelling-school days there was good spelling, and I also know that nowadays words to sometimes appear under a spell that is by no means enchanting.

"Our early settlers, especially those from New England, brought with them their long-cherished ideals of religious observances. The church to some extent is a factor in social life and in pioneer days seems likely to be a more potent social factor than when wealth brings in its train social observances of a more conventional character. There was friendly fraternal feeling among the churches.

"The lady now furnishing material for this chapter told me that in her girlhood the children went to church with their parents and even the babies had a place in the pews.

"The donation party then did double duty as a financial expedient and a social function. What was done on such occasions? a donation is, of course, a gift, and sometimes, I have been told, on such occasions not only were provisions given away, but the good minister who received them as a supplementary appendage to his salary was also given away. But as a social feature in the early days,. The donation party really was a party of no mean pretensions. There was every variety of good and every variety of folks, and no small amount of the food brought went home with folks who brought it. Somehow, eating together seems not only to open the mouth and loosen the tongue, but also to open the heart. This time-honored occasion, now obsolete in Flint, had its uses, and the good times enjoyed on such occasions are still remembered with pleasure.

"As royal entertainers in the early days my informant mentioned the family of Chauncey Payne. Sometimes there were dancing parties, and the dancing of that day as seen by the lady now under interview, was decorous and courtly.

:She mentioned as conspicuous in early social life the Deweys, the Cumminses, the Pages, the family of Benjamin Pearson, Colonel and Mrs. E. H. Thomson, Russell Bishop and wife, Grant Decker and Colonel Fenton and their wives, and said there were many more whose names did not occur to her at this time.

"Card playing was seldom indulged in, and the conversation was of high order. 'Yes,' said she, 'they could talk.' Gentlemen and their wives made evening calls at the fireside of their neighbors, with delightful informality.

"We have now reached the year 1848 and much attention was then paid to music, said my informant, herself a musician of no mean attainments. There was a social side as well as a musical, and some of the young people, now elderly people, remember with pleasure the musical gatherings held in the evening in the old Walker school house and conducted by a Mr. Nutting, an accomplished Southern gentleman.

"Long ago there was May Day festival held on the North side--a brilliant affair for the young people and an enjoyable one for their seniors. There were guests from Detroit and Saginaw. The name of the May queen was not given me. Presumably there was not as much competition for the queenly honor as in present times there is for the scepter of the queen of the carnival.

"With all the coal activity of those days, the good people could find time and inclination to listen to three sermons on Sunday. Surely there was then less of rush and hurry than now.

"'And when did you come to Flint?' said I to an elderly lady who kindly consented to be my third victim, as I sat with pencil in hand at her home. 'Well,' said she, 'I came ho this place in 1842, from Batavia, new York.' And how old were you then?' she peered through her glasses half hesitatingly and I explained that I had no deep-laid plot put figures together so as to figure our her present age, for ladies, even the best of them, are just a little shy on that subject. 'I was fifteen years old when I came to live in Flint.' 'A winsome, wide-awake lassie I think you must have been.' She confirmed my guess by telling how she once peeped through the cracks of a primitive dwelling to see how the older people got along a t a kind of 'hail-fellows-well-met' function, in which for some reason. she did not participate. It will hardly do for me to records the names or sayings or doing of some well-remembered people whom our fifteen-year-old lassie with an inquiring turn of mind saw through the cracks, I know not if one of them is here today, certainly there can be at most but few.

"'Won't you tell me what people used to do in those days in a social way? Surely they did not work at the time.' 'By no means was it all work. There was a good deal of play, a good deal of fun, and any amount of good feeling. Yes, we did have good times.'

"'While building a better house, people used to live in shanties, of considerable size, but no matter how primitive the shanty, it was good enough to receive company in, and such temporary buildings were often the scene of festive gatherings that are pleasant to remember.

"'There is a feature of our social life at present that was never heard of in the early days. Ladies now get together in the afternoon, sometimes in the evening, and not a gentleman is to be seen there, and I don’t like it a bit.'

"I checked my pencil on hearing this statement and gave utterance to an 'amen,' that, like the curses of Macbeth, was not loud but deep,. For I, like many another man, have painful memories.

"The elderly lady seemed amused at the heartiness of my response, and then went on: 'In the early days I never heard of such a thing as a lady sending out invitations for social gathering composed exclusively of ladies, Why, it would have been the tamest affair on earth. We old-timers never did such a ridiculous thing as that. Men were of some account when I was young. Husbands went with their wives, young men went with some young lady or two, and both the masculine and feminine element were fully represented. They did not wait for bedtime before lighting their lanterns and starting out. Our parties in those days, when the evening church service used to begin at early candlelight, were in full career by seven o'clock.

"'Was there music at your parties?' 'There was more or less, but pianos were scarce. My mother's was the second piano in Flint, and the possession of such an instrument gave considerable dignity to the family in whose house it was.'

"'Those must have been happy days when there was only two pianos in the place,' said I. 'Now please thing of something else that used to be done to enliven your social life.'

"'Well, we used to play games, especially the old-fashioned games of forfeits. Even very dignified people quite enjoyed a game of blind man's buff. How would Flint's four hundred look today in evening dress playing that game. Yet we enjoyed it.'

"There was a good deal of dancing. The square dance were in high favor, interspersed with polkas, cotillions, schottisches and waltzes. If the dance was improperly named, O Reader, pardon the ignorance of the writer and believe that in Flint's early social life all kinds of dances were possible and were brilliantly executed. The only drawback to the dancing was the music. No one then fiddled for pay and for that reason he who could play the violin was always welcome. Robert Stage excelled as a scraper of cat-gut, and his appearance at a party with his violin always produced great uneasiness of the feet, and soon developed rhythmic motion.

"'When I was quite a young lady there was comparatively little card playing. People did play, but would have been shocked at the idea of playing in the daytime. The men then had no club rooms to go to where they could smoke and play cards, tot he neglect of business, and the women would have found it intolerably stupid to play cards alone.'

"'Tell me, if you please, about the refreshments they used to serve on social occasions in the early days of the place. Were they easy to be obtained when marketing facilities were not what they now are?'

"'Not so easy to be obtained, but they were good, and not merely refreshing, but absolutely distressing by reason of their abundance.'

"'Suppose you give me the menu that was customary to serve on really elaborate occasions.'

"'O, menu--they did not have any use for that word then. Bit I will call to mind as well as I can what I have often seen served at an old-time social gathering. First as to the meats. They were placed often on a side table, and cared in sight of the guests. One gentleman would carve the turkey, and I call to mind Mr.---------- who was especially skillful in turkey carving. Seeing him carve was the next thing to eating itself. Another gentleman would slice the ham, a large boiled ham, fancifully decorated with cloves. Still another would distribute the 'chicken fixin's,' and in those days poultry was abundant. There were also still other kinds of meat. Boiled tongue and wild game, such as partridge, quail and pigeon often graced the table. Even the most prosperous people, however, did not own dishes enough to hold all this rich abundance. So the good housewives used to lend their dishes to each other and a keen-eyed woman would generally see something on the table that reminded her of home. Cakes of all kinds were in evidence and they were placed in full view of the guests. Spectacular effect was aimed at as well as the pleasure of feasting upon the fat of the land. A cake pyramid, whose structure was too complicated for any man to comprehend, loomed up in the center of the table. Its height was less than that of the pyramids of Egypt, but it was pretty high, and was the symbol of a high time for those who witnessed its gradual demolition and disappearance.'

"I ventured to ask with what liquids these delicacies and substantials were floated out of sight. 'O, we had coffee, of course, and in many placed there was a well-filled sideboard. Wine and brandy were not infrequently served at social gatherings, such as I have just described.'

"'How about ice cream, did you have that?' 'Have ice cream/ yes, indeed we did. The cow in those days was not a four-wheeled affair and milk was not kept from turning sour with formaldehyde. The cream was genuine, and the women who froze it were genuine, too., and the ice cream they made did have a certain richness and flavor that you can't find in boughten ice cream. We used, on many occasions, to have two immense molds of ice cream that looked like small mountain peaks, one at each end of the table, each with a different flavor; vanilla and strawberry were the favorite flavors.' 'If the first flavor did not quite satisfy, could a gentleman be allowed a second helping from the second little mountain peak?' 'Yes, indeed, gentlemen were not bashful about such things in those days, and the ladies enjoyed helping them a second time.' I expressed my regrets that I was born many years too late.

"Wonderful men and women at the table were our early settlers, I have read that 'there is a satisfaction in seeing Englishmen eat and drink, they do it so heartily, trusting that there is no harm in good beef and mutton and a reasonable quantity of good liquor. Thus our early-coming people seem to have at least eaten with no feat whatever of the failure of the American stomach.

"'How were the gentlemen usually dressed on festive occasions?' 'Generally in neat business suits. The swallow tail was quite uncommon, and a man in one would not have felt entirely at home.'

"'What next occurs to you on the subject of early social life?' 'well, I must not forget the sleighrides. I can almost hear the jingle of the bells now, and the many voices that I shall never hear again. Not infrequently after a good, long ride we would all meet at Aunt Polly Todd's where a well-spread table would be ready for us.'

"'Were stylish sleighs then common?' "By no means. We used to charter large lumber sleighs, with no seats at all except for the driver. With clean straw on the bottom and good buffalo robes on the straw, and us young folds (just look at me now) on the robes. Many times have we driven to Grand Blanc and Flushing. There was little style about the sleighs, but the horses were not at all slow, neither were the young men.

"'On one occasion one of the gentlemen had secreted a bottle of brandy in his overcoat pocket. The handsomest woman in Flint (she is not living now and you must not breathe her name) picked his pocket and dropped the bottle out into the deep snow, where it was found in the spring when the snow melted.' 'Was the brandy still in the bottle?' 'I cannot tell you, sir, but the bottle was found.'

"'What was the favorite amusement in the early days?' 'Dancing was decidedly the favorite. There were dancing schools as early as 1848. Dancing was taught in the old hotel, opposite the court house, and after the pupils had received their instructions, the old people dropped in and danced.' On one occasion, the lady now speaking for your benefit, was greatly amused. There was a young man present who could not dance at all. His best girl could, and greatly enjoyed it. She was a beautiful girl and was in great demand as a partner in the dance. On this occasion her future husband looked on as a wallflower and with such an expression on his face that has his thoughts been expressed in words, they would probably have been a fine brand of cuss words. The girl enjoyed the dance and the spectators enjoyed the agony of the onlooker who could not dance and who could not keep his best girl from dancing with his rivals.'

"'Did the church social county for much as a social factor in the early days?' 'Yes, it counted for more than it does now. There were fewer counter attractions for the young, and there was condition of social good feeling among the churches.

"'It can hardly be called a social factor and yet, as there was a social side to it, I may mention that there was much horseback riding when I was a young lady.

"'I cannot forget the high, old-fashioned fireplace that was great attraction in so many homes. it was a social force in its way, for talk will be at its best before a good wood fire, in a big fireplace, when it would languish over a furnace register.

"'Customs have gradually changed. Looking back a long way, I cannot fix the time when the gentleman gradually faded out of united social life, and went, alas, too much, by themselves. And the ladies began to issue invitations to social functions for ladies only. It was not the good old ways and it is no improvement, at all.'

"The writer of this sketch live din New York City for ten year, previous to coming to Flint. In new York he was familiar with the Knickerbocker custom of making New Year's calls and found the custom pleasantly recognized when he came to Flint in 1864. This good old Knickerbocker custom, now falling into 'innocuous desuetude,' has been a factor in the early social life of Flint that is deserving of consideration. It began there at a much earlier date than I had supposed, if my informant has an accurate memory. As far back as 1842, when her parents had moved from the State of new York, a neighbor said to her mother, 'Now when New Year's Day comes you must expect to see Indians in your house. They will expect something and they will surely come. I doubt if there were any doorbells to ring in those days. But the visitor who called could use his knuckles for a knocker and thus apprise the inmates of he house that someone would like to come in.

"The Indian callers gave no intimation of their wish for admission. They simply went in and with their moccasined feel they glided in so silently that many a time the lady of the house has been surprised to find a number of them in her front room looking over the appointments of the apartment. They did not mean to be rude, but it was their way. A piano was to them an object of special wonder. On New Year's Day they would go from house to house with this salutation: 'Ugh, Ugh, Hoppy Noo Year, Hoppy Noo Year,' Whether or not they painted up and feathered up for such occasions I did not learn, but Indian callers on New Year's Day would certainly now be almost as unique as some New Year's turnouts that white men have figured in within my memory.'

A great step was taken in advance with the establishment of roads, railroads, and newspapers, and the opening of communication with the outer world, Speaking of the days before the Civil War, Prof. F. H. Humphrey says:

"Social life was in full glow and a spirit of true democracy seemed to prevail in all functions pertaining to society. Among the notable events were the musical club parties, held at intervals of two or four weeks, on which occasion a fine selected program of instrumental and vocal music was rendered by home talent, after which dancing was the social pastime, closing at eleven o'clock p. m. these entertainments were held at private homes of Flint's generous citizens. The Musical Club became known as the Harmonia Club and finally ceased to exist. Meantime private home parties became a source of social pleasure, on which occasion an orchestra was present, and after the usual reception ceremonies, cards and dancing were the amusements."