Now it came to pass a good
many years ago, that "Rooseveltus" was no more, and
"Taftia" with "LaFollentine" had perished from the
earth, so that there were left no Great Men to tell
the People how the Government should be run. Then
arose several Learned Men of Great Foresight and
Perspicacity and forsook their seats upon the Board
of Regents, and went abroad into the land saying
unto the People: "Behold now 'Rooseveltus' is dead,
'Taftia' is no more, and 'LaFollentine' has ceased,
but We are Great Men, and we Know how to Run the
World, for we have had Experience at the University
of Tabasca." And it came to pass that the People
glanced up from their Work, even as in the days of
"Rooseveltus", and said: "Oh all right, but don't
bother us. We are busy with the root of evil."
So the Great Men took up the
Reins of Government, and began to Reign, even as
they had done at Tabasca.
And they said one to another: "It
is a great honor to hold office," and they were all
agreed that it was so. And they made solemn pact
with one another saying: "We will take no
Remuneration for our Services. The Honor and
Confidence of the People shall be our Reward."
And it was done even so with all
the other employees of the People. And it came to
pass that Office Holders went about with Pouter
Pigeon Chests, and Medals pinned upon them, and the
Store Keepers gave them credit easily, for they
were men who Held Responsible Positions, and full
But it came to pass that as
"tempus fugitted" the Store Keepers gave much
credit, while their jobbers cried loudly for pay,
so that there was a scarcity of money in the
Coffers of the Provisioners, and they went unto the
Men of Honor to collect their Bills. But the Great
Men met them saying, "We have much honor but no
money." And it transpired that the Merchants made
reply saying: "Behold we have been even as the
burro and right royally are we 'stung,'" and
they went their ways with heavy hearts and light
And there was want in the land
and Famine stalked abroad, laying her grisly hands
upon the People. And the touch of her fingers upon
the abdomens of the Great Men was like unto the
Kick of a Mule, for they could no longer get
Credit, and Honor, according to a decision of the
Supreme Court, was not Legal Tender for Goods,
Wares, and Merchandise, nor in Payment of Public
Duties, nor Interest on the Public Debt. And so it
was, that whereas the Chest of the Great Men still
was full of honor, his Abdomen was quite empty and
the one protruded no further than the other
receded. And he resigned his office and went in
search of an Ordinary job that would bring him a
Pay Check every Saturday afternoon.
But the Employers Laughed at Him.
Said one: "It is a joke that you should be looking
for work. You can do no work, for you have wasted
your time in these Honorary Positions and know not
the face of Work."
Said another: "What? have you
then spent all you 'grafted' off the Big Dance, and
as Manager of Athletics?"
And when he replied with words of
truth in his month that he had grafted nothing, the
Great Multitude held their sides for laughter and
said one to another: "Isn't that fellow
Then did the Once Great Men lift
their hands on High, and swear, and they fell on
their knees and did swear again.
And the Moral of this Parable is
this: -- That it is all very well for Theorists to
make Rules as to How Nebraska Publications should
be run; but that we do n't notice any of these
Dreamers doing a Great Deal of Work, for which They
receive Nothing. And another moral is this: -- that
Some People hold a Dollar so close to their eyes
that they can 't see what is going on about them.
S. R. B.