JOKES

DARK DEEDS

    One night WILDER than usual, the thunder RUMBLE-ing and the STARRS completely obliterated, three NOBLE, YOUNG men, faultlessly TAYOR'd in GRAY overalls, came our from a HOUSE, crossed a DITCH and walked quickly along the RHODES. One MANN was CAREYing a pail and brush. They at last came SAFELY to the schoolhouse, opened the door with the bogus KEYES which they drew from their pockets, and proceeded by way of the GARRET to come out upon the roof. Here they followed their only COHRS. Crouching LOWE against the building, they DREW the magical sign. Then as the COCK started to CROW they said, "FINE WORK—MEN!" The marched off in a ROYAL manner, VICTORS of the land jsut as the sky became tinted with IRIS, leaving behind them glaring WHITE on the BROWN background of C.H.H.S. the most wonderful of all numbers, '21.

WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF

Mr. Browne—Fell.
The Faculty—Let us roam in the halls.
Miss DeNoon—Should give us short assignments.
Mr. Weber—Would talk about lessons.
Mr. Beard—Would grow.
Miss Abbott—Would forget the girl and boy stuff.
Miss Wildey—Would drop her "honest injun."
Mr. Turner—Would get his hair cut.
Miss Palmer—Would say "it ain't."
Miss Witwer—Would excuse anyone from HER class under any conditions.
Miss Schmermund—Would forget to ring the tardy bell.

SONG HITS COMPOSED BY C. R. H. S. STUDENTS

Grievin' For you-Jerry Shores.
I'm not Jealous, I Just Don't Like It-Don Hines.
I'm Single, Disengaged-Buel Weare.
Unuh-Jo Fisher.
I Might be Your Once in a while-Kirk Yerkes.
You'd be Surprised-Ted Swenson.
Sweet and Pretty-Lorene McDanel.
I'll Say She Does-Ora Halfhill.

AN INDEX TO PERSONALITIES

THINGS WE DON'T LIKE TO SEE, BUT____

1. Pettibockers.
2. Stalled Cars
3. Torn Hair nets.
4. Paint and powder.
5. Side Curtains.
6. Girl's Track team.

MEMORIES

PLEASE NOTICE

My K.P.T. pin-Evelyn Jenney, Mary Safely
My A.R. pin-Leonard Albright
Our prestige-The Zets
My feet-Alfred Danziger
My girl-Nick Burrell
My dancing-Mr. Weber

THE DEEP THINKING PROFESSOR

"It's a long corridor that has no ultimate termination," remarked Mr.
Turner, absent mindedly, as he paddled patiently around in a revolving door.

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How hard the little Freshies work
To get their lessons tough;
The Sophomores flunk, the Juniors skirk;
The Seniors-oh, they bluff.

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"Pa, when has a fellow got horse sense?"
"When he can say 'nay', my son."

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Emil—"Hey, waiter! there's a tack in this doughnut."
Waiter—"Why, the ambitious little thing. It thought it was a flivver tire."

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Traffic Cop - "Hey, there! Didn't you hear me yelling for you to stop?"
Harry Carringer - "Oh! was that you yelling? I thought that was just somebody I'd run over."

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Fortune Teller - "Do you wish to know about your future husband?"
Lady Client - "I want to know about the past of my present husband for future use."

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Life Insurance Agent to Bernard Kane - "Why don't you want your life insured?"
Bernard Kane - "Well, it's just this way. The idea of being more valuable dead
than alive doesn't appeal to me."

________________

Mrs. Mills - "Why, how did you come to fall on the doorstep?"
Ted Harms - "I didn't come to fall on the doorstep. I came to call."

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Stanger, entering postoffice - "Any mail for Mike Howe?"
The postmaster was busy and made no reply. "Any mail
for Mike Howe?" repeated the stranger.
"No, of course not. Who do you suppose send mail to your cow?"

________________

A. Butler: "I hide my head in shame every time I see the family wash out in the backyard."
E. Sprague: "Oh, do they?"

Ora Halfhill had just finished reading "The Man Without a Country," and as she laid it down she sighed and said, "I cannot imagine anything worse that a man without a country."
Viola Waller: "Oh, I can."
Ora: "Why, what?"
Viola: "A country without a man."

Jerry N.: "What would you do if I should kiss you.?"
Kate H.: "I'd scream for help."
Jerry: "Oh, don't bother, I don't need any help."

During Health Week prizes were offered at High for the best Health slogans. From, the thousand contributed, Vic Janda won the first prize with "Chew your food; you have no gizzard."

"Well," said Quintus Wilson to his friend, as they walked out of the restaurant, "the girl who waited on me this noon is either a dummy or a humorist. I called for extract of beef and she brought me a glass of milk."

"My busines is going to the wall," said the paper-hanger.
"Yes," said the undertaker, "my business is dead too."

Edna Mae Kriz (Reciting on the pleasures and pastimes of the Virginians) "They danced-and-and had fights."

Dorothy Gray: "How can you tell the imitation pearls from the real ones?"
Lorene McDanel: "Oh, my dear, you don't tell; you just keep it to yourself."

Jo Fisher had floundered in English recitaion but kind hearted Mr. Weber determined to help her. So he surprised the class by saying, "Miss Fisher, may I hold you a few minutes after the class has gone?"

Mr. Beard: "Young man, do you know I started life as a barefoot boy?"
buel Weare: "Well, I wan't born with shoes on either."

Winifred Murray - "Kate, have you ever eaten 'hermits'?"
Kate H. (disgustedly) - "No, I'm not a cannibal."

Mr. McNair (taking pictures for the Annual) - "Now, try not to think of yourselves at all - think of something pleasant."

Mr. Carlson - "Have you stopped smoking?"
Gerald Neill - "Yes, I swore off."
Mr. Carlson - "Well, that's good. Why did you do it?"
Jerry: "It's getting so terribly effeminate nowadays, you know."

Adam - "Let's turn over a new leaf."
Eve - "My dear! It's only Saturday!"

Bobby M. - "Wasn't that a fine lecture by Prof. McNair on 'The Culture of Prunes?'"
Don H. - "Splendid! He was so full of his subject."

Friend to Kadghin - "I've sen that tall Swenson going to your studio every day for a week. Is he sitting for you?"
Kadghin - "No, he's laying for me."

DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN

We had a conference hour?
There were assemblies every Friday?
We seniors were freshmen?
Emil John wore short pants?

-Apologies to "The Wake."

Kirk - "Peterson has sold a poem to Scribblers, entitled an 'Ode to a Fair Lady.' "
Hines: - "Well, he's more competent to write verses entitled, 'Owed to a Landlady.' "

Florence Conrad - "How do you like Johnson?"
Gertrude Yeager - "Well, I don't know him well enough to pass any disagreeable comment on him."

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