He's so narrow minded he can look through a keyhole with both eyes at once.

She's busy as a frog in a butter churn.

Save your breath to cool your porridge.

He stands out like a blackberry in a pan of milk.

She's so short she'd have to stand on a milk pail to look down a woodchuck hole.

He was so crooked they had to use a corkscrew to bury him.

She's as dainty as a cow with snowshoes on.

He's as independent as a hog on ice with its tail froze in.

She's so homely she'd scare the hoss, and chase the driver.